91 Octane or Saki... There is no replacement for displacement!!!

I have had my fill of little children in 4 cylinder Civics revving on me like they are in a real car. Then they get destroyed at the green only to pull up at the next light and rev at me again like maybe this time I'll forget which pedal is the gas. So just for fun I have compiled a list of things that are an indication that your car might run on Saki and rice. If these apply, then when you hear American Muscle rumble up next to you... sink in your seat like you will end up doing anyway and keep that right foot in check... Or you WILL get embarrassed, AGAIN!!! Some of the following are other people's observations the rest of them are my own. To certain people, I don't want to hear a word about #22!!! lol


1. You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower
2. You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels
3. You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission
4. Your mod list includes shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, exhaust tip, 400 pounds of electronics, more neon than a strip club, DVD player, mini disco-ball, no REAL engine parts yet you yank out the rear seat for weight savings
5. If your rear spoiler is taller then you are and the 1970 Plymouth Daytona Superbird has a smaller spoiler than your car
6. You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the fender
7. You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children and clowns are driving them
8. You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system
9. You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car
10. You claim you lost because you missed a shift with an automatic transmission
11. You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE
12. Your tailpipe extension fell off during a quarter mile race and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings.
13. You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang
14. You think Nitrous Oxide or a turbo on your Hyundai Sonata puts you in the same performance league as the Chevy Corvette
15. You think the Del Sol is a sports car
16. If your four cylinder has a dual exhaust system installed
17. If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are impressive for a car
18. If you have stickers on your car for parts that you could not point out or dont even have
19. If you estimate that your cars HP gains after a mod by the sound cause you don’t need no stinkin’ dyno
20. If you've ever bought a 1" to 6" exhaust adapter
21. If you do any mod to your mom's 4 door Accord Wagon
22. You tell everyone about how you lost the cop because of your "driving skills"
23. You drive a $20,000 import with $10,000 in mods, and still live with your parents
24. You've spent more on graphics and decals, for parts you dont have, than you have spent on gas all year
25. Your car only sounds like you're going 90mph
26. You upgraded to the "big bore" 2 inch exhaust
27. You think "displacement" is something that happens to homeless people
28. You brag about overtaking a Yugo just before the finish line
29. You can reach back and defrost the rear window by hand
30. You think its funny to race anyone, anytime, and already know that you will lose
31. Your little sister is the only one impressed with your car
32. You rev on school busses to impress the girls with braces
33. You rev on people in electric wheelchairs to impress the girls with dentures
34. You drill holes in your muffler to make it louder
35. Your dad is embarrassed because you bought a car with less displacement than his lawnmower

There's No Replacement for Displacement

Christopher